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The Siege. An armed robber demands all the cash from the till, but is thwarted by the fact that there isn't any, so a hostage situation in the office is his next best option. Meanwhile, Karen needs to fly to Frankfurt and a deliveryman drive to Finchingfield, but four missing doughnuts put everyone's best-laid plans on hold. This episode was originally broadcast on Thursday, 14th February, 1991. There's a lot in this one that may bring to mind a certain episode of Only Fools and Horses. It's called The Longest Night, and it similarly features a robbery gone wrong and subsequent claustrophobic lockdown scenario. This would also have been familiar at the time to Vas Blackwood, playing Dexter here and one of the first to be held hostage, as in that episode of OFaH, he himself guested as elusive gunman, The Sha-a-dow. History doesn't record whether David Joss Buckley - who came up with this storyline for Spatz (Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro wrote the script itself, naturally) - was inspired by that, or whether it's all one giant coincidence. Beyond the setup, this doesn't really borrow from said OFaH episode, and instead plays on the mystery of everyone who visits the office spookily disappearing, one by one. I think I'm right in saying that this features Freddy's first Private Frazer moment, as she stares aimlessly into the distance and gives us a bit of Celtic nonsense for everyone to worry about. Favourite lines in general include the "Faster food in a slug's lunchbox" one, and the "Do you know what the combination is?" exchange, which is straight out of the Police Squad manual. There are some nice little bits of slapstick (particularly a door-and-spanner-related fiasco), plus a scene involving Vince trying to sort out the customers' payments that reminds me of a Fast Show sketch from a few years later. Finishing on a Looney Tunes type of punchline wasn't something they did often, and I'm not certain it really fits, but they had to wrap up somehow I suppose, and you may as well go out with a bang. Oh, and, weirdly, the "Next week..." bit at the end features a major plot spoiler and absolutely nothing to justify why they picked that particular clip. Two things for budding writers to look out for: (1) the delivery driver's unnecessary alliterative way of speaking. I've said it before, but you can add so much extra depth to what could have been a nothing character by giving them a quirk like this, and the show is instantly all the richer for it. Very reminiscent of multiple Play Away skits. (2) That argument over whether a gherkin is a cucumber or not. Funny in the first place, but also perfect because it's the sort of thing you think you know the answer to but then doubt yourself a little more each time it's brought up. For the record, a gherkin is indeed a type of cucumber. I'm ashamed to have had to Google that to be certain. Look out at the beginning and end for Jeanne Downs presenting the CITV continuity alongside a dog other than Scally - I'm going to go out on a limb and assume it's to promote a new series of Woof or something. Grateful thanks to Joe for lending me this tape. (To the best of my knowledge, the contents of this video have never been available commercially anywhere in the world. Please also note that I don't monetise any of my uploads. Nevertheless, if you are a copyright holder and have an objection, please don't hesitate to contact me.)