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Ma Da left the hoose when I was three, he didn’t leave much to ma Ma and me just a pile of debt and a bottle of flat Irn Bru Now I don’t blame him cos he run and hid but the eejit y’know he flipped his lid, before he left he went and named me Sue, Well he must thought it was quite a joke but I can tell you that name - it gies me the boak I even had to fight to get signed on the broo Some girl would giggle and call me transvestite, some guy would laugh and I’d start to fight Now how would you like to be called Sue? Well I grew up quick and I grew up mean, I joined the famous east end team And roamed from Bridgeton to Royston to hide my shame Between smokin hash and stealing cars I searched the bookies and the Glasgow bars To kill the man that gie’d me that stupid name It was Castlemilk at the Glasgow Fair I took a football tammie aff a ma hair I went into the Oasis to have a pint or two Standing at the bar I took a flackey for there in the corner playin cards with a jakey Was the muppet that had gone and named me Sue I knew that ride was my own sweet Dad - from a video of 'Crimewatch' my Granny had I knew the ginger hair and his skelly eye He had a beer belly and he smelt of urine He had the auld enemy top the away yin He says my name is Sue, you’re for it noo You’re gonna die I kicked him in the plums and I poked his eye He fell to the floor but to my surprise, he came up with a jib and slashed off a piece of my ear I flew a steel toe cap aff his teeth, both of us fell intae the street Fightin and a kickin in the mud, the bucky and the beer I tell you I’ve taught tougher men but I really can’t remember when The bastard squeezed ma baws like a pedophile I heard him cackle and I heard him curse He went for his machete, I pulled mine first He stood there lookin at me and I saw him smile He said ya wee tosser, Glasgow’s rough If you’re gonna make it you’ve got to be tough and I knew I wasn’t gonna be there to help you along I named you Sue then I shot the craw -I knew now and then you’d get a boot in the baws But it’s given you that lassie’s name that has helped to made you strong You’ve just fought one hella a fight - I knew U hate and you’re probably right To kill me now I wouldn’t blame you if you do But you ought to thank me before I die for makin you such a mental guy Cos I’m the big Yin that went and named you Sue I got aw choked up cos fightin‘s nae fun I called him Da he called me Son and I limped off with a different point of view That loser comes to mind every now and then Every time I fight and every time I win And if I ever have a wain I think I’m going to call him Tarquin, Farquar Campbell anything but Sue I still hate that stupid name