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That Night

Lyrics by clinton Walsh music is ai and produced by Suno Verse 1 Last night was supposed to feel different I thought maybe I could make her smile again I wanted to show her that I’m still here that I can be the man she fell in love with But my body betrayed me and my mind followed right behind it Everything I wanted to say disappeared and the silence hit harder than any sound could She tried to reach for me, but I pulled away because I couldn’t look at her not when I already felt like a failure I was trapped inside my own head screaming at myself for being this broken Verse 2 The room felt heavy, the air felt cold I kept thinking, “Why can’t I just be normal for once?” She didn’t say much, she just looked hurt and that hurt me more than anything else It wasn’t her fault, but I took it out on myself I got angry, not at her, but at my own reflection for being stuck inside a body I can’t trust for feeling like less of a man because I couldn’t give her what she deserved And when she cried, it shattered something inside me because I swore I’d never make her cry again but I keep breaking promises to myself, to her, to us Chorus (R&B) Why do I keep doing this to myself Why do I destroy what I love I just wanted to feel close to her but instead I built another wall I don’t want to give up even if it feels like I’m fading I just want to feel happy I just want her to be happy Verse 3 I keep seeing her face in my mind the way she tried to smile through her tears the way she said it was okay even though we both knew it wasn’t That kind of pain doesn’t fade overnight it lingers, it sits in the corners of the room waiting for the next time I slip And I hate that I can’t fix it I hate that I’m the reason for the distance Every time I close my eyes, I see the same scene me, angry and silent her, crying and quiet and between us — all the love that could’ve healed if I just learned how to forgive myself Verse 4 I tell myself I’ll do better next time but I’ve said that too many times to count and still, I fall back into this hole where shame feels like home and hope feels like a stranger I wish I could trade this body, this mind for one that doesn’t turn against me one that doesn’t make me feel ashamed of being alive I know she deserves more and I keep trying to become it but it’s hard when your reflection is the same face you’ve been fighting your whole life Chorus (R&B) Why do I keep doing this to myself Why do I destroy what I love I just wanted to feel close to her but instead I built another wall I don’t want to give up even if it feels like I’m fading I just want to feel happy I just want her to be happy Bridge I tell myself to keep trying to not let the anger win again to not turn away when she needs me most But it’s hard when I’m my own worst enemy I carry guilt like a second skin I wake up and wear it every day I’m tired of fighting battles that no one sees I’m tired of pretending I’m okay But giving up isn’t the answer even when my mind tries to convince me it is So I’ll keep standing even if I’m standing alone for a while Outro (R&B) Last night wasn’t just a mistake it was another reminder of how fragile I am But maybe tomorrow I’ll learn to forgive myself to let her in again to not let my shame define who I am I just want her to look at me and see hope instead of hurt And maybe one day I’ll see the same thing too