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If you are ever faced with the ultimatum of power/independence or approval, always choose power. Never sacrifice your agency to get the approval of the herd. Just before your life starts to improve, the NPCs will swarm you to plant seeds of doubt to keep you as powerless as them. Don't fall for the shaming and fear-mongering tactics. If you have an opportunity to increase your power level or independence, take it, even at the expense of popularity in the heirarchy. The goal is to leave the heirarchy after all. Power doesn't need permission slips or approval, which is why they try to stop you from getting it. If you had power or agency, their shaming tactics wouldn't work and their control would be destroyed. Once you become independent, they can never shame you back into the herd. Don't compromise your morals/dignity to fit in.