Domestic Abuse - A Story of Male on Female Abuse скачать в хорошем качестве

Domestic Abuse - A Story of Male on Female Abuse

On her own after being in a relationship for 15 years, J was struggling to care for her son who had multiple difficulties when she met her perpetrator. He knew a lot about J as he had been a family friend. This meant that he knew J’s weak spots and used this to his advantage, as many perpetrators do. They began a relationship, but less than 6 months in, the abuse started. It started with J’s partner criticising and controlling her. This led to her changing how she spoke and who she spoke to. He wouldn’t trust her to be on her own, so if he wasn’t with her, he would be constantly in touch. It reached a point where J would no longer be allowed to go out alone. The control and emotional abuse soon turned into physical abuse; “One time, he punched me so hard that my head flew back and smashed off the wall. My daughter saw this, she was only 3 years old.” Like many people in J’s position, she began trying to cover up the abuse. In hot weather she would wear polo necks to cover up bruises, avoiding questions and offers of help. Sadly when friends and family would try to help J, she felt sorry for her partner, and guilty for him being put on the spot. When a doctor wanted to report the abuse to her GP, J feared the impact that this could have on her children so declined. After J’s children moved away to be with other family members due to the relationship, J was even more alone and isolated. Her perpetrator took advantage of this and suggested moving to his hometown. He promised things would be different, but once they moved, the abuse worsened. J became pregnant which temporarily stopped the abuse, but it started again once the baby was born. And now she was completely alone. The physical abuse was worse than before; “Once I was rushed to hospital and had to stay there for a month after he assaulted me. He’d thrown me to the floor punching and kicking me. The only thing that saved me was my little boy who was one and a half years old, he came and laid over me crying.” J had no support network. She was away from friends and family, in debt, and isolated, just as her perpetrator wanted. In 2018, after backing out of other court cases, J wanted to show her children how strong she was and went to court to secure a 5 year restraining order. She was then able to leave and return to a place where she could find the support that she needed for her and her children. “Stand up for what you believe in. Be strong, make your voice heard, and never, ever stop fighting. Nobody deserves to be treated like this. Nobody has the right to do this to you.”