"Goodbye, Jilly." ITV (Yorkshire) continuity, adverts and ITN News, 24th August 1986 скачать в хорошем качестве

"Goodbye, Jilly." ITV (Yorkshire) continuity, adverts and ITN News, 24th August 1986

And here's the stuff from after Albion Market! And before, actually, because there was some stuff there as well that I forgot about. Starting with a fourth wall bothering trailer for Home to Roost, YTV's native sitcom (although this trailer is ITV branded with the blocky unofficial mid-eighties logo). Basically John Thaw's a divorcé who has to put up with an infestation of Reece Dinsdale. . PSYCH that was the end of an unrelated recording. Have an advert. It's the one from the Post Office about the birthday of Biffo the Clown which you might well find whimsically enchanting if, unlike most normal people, you don't find clowns inherently terrifying. Biffo is in fact played by the late Smokey the Clown, whose grandchild admonished me for casting nasturtiums on his profession when I uploaded a version of this 36 decades ago. Look, if you can stand clowns then more power to you, but don't ask me to join in. We all float down here. Another trailer! Return to Eden here is remembered as the Australian attempt at Dallas, which it is, but its life as an ongoning soap opera was relatively short. Before that it was a miniseries, and that's what we have here. I think. It was all flattened vowels, shoulder pads and outrageously large acting either way. Over on 4 very shortly, some golf. From Glasgow. And that's all we need to know, apparently. Neither the treacle-voiced Paul Lally nor the shockingly perfunctory slide are inclined to elaborate. Men in stupid trousers hitting balls with sticks, who gives a shit. But now on Yorkshire, Albion Market! Introduced with its own production caption, which probably happened a lot because YTV didn't use in-vision. Lally does it the decency of mentioning that it's the last episode. BUT INSTEAD OF THAT. We skip straight to the end and the late Jim Bowen hurling just about every single bull-related pun in the English language at us to promote the return on Sundays of Bullseye, the legendary gameshow beloved of people slightly older than me who could figure out what the hell was going on in it. There was a quiz and then there were darts. And the whole thing tasted faintly of Bovril. FUCK YOU STRAIGHT INTO ADVERTS WITHOUT A BUMPER OR ANNOUNCEMENT OR ANYTHING ANARCHY NO FUTURE. Polo mints! A sterling example of the successful mid-80s campaign which consisted largely of ten-second animated blipverts centring around some kind of visual pun based on the mint itself, with deadpan narration usually, as here, by Peter Sallis, in a voice halfway between Clegg and Wallace. The IOC were clearly less litigious in those days; today, they wouldn't be allowed to do this without Rowntrees (ie Nestle's) being an official Olympic sponsor. Which they're not. Guess what they want to sell off next? With British Gas currently for sale and BP lined up for next year, the water and electricity boards tug on their collars and prepare "awareness campaigns". The leccy go with a fantastical montage of Britain industrial and domestic, with a voiceover from Laurence Olivier in which he sounds like a caveman who's just discovered fire and fallen to his knees in abject worship. Only more impressive and articulate. More big government next, with Action for Jobs, its glowing ajar door motif, and an increasingly desperate sounding Ian Holm. GET A GODDAMN JOB, WILL YOU? We've got Government programmes coming out of our ears, how are there still unemployed people? PICK UP THIS BOOKLET OR WE'LL RAM IT DOWN YOUR THROAT Next: World of Twats. An impossibly gorgeous touseled blonde is served mixer sherry by an impossibly gorgeous square-jawed prickhorse and because this is an advert isn't immediately repelled by his almost palpable aura of self-satisfaction. Includes free servile black man, if it wasn't already hateful enough. Then: a bizarre idea for a Skips advert, but still not as bizarre as Mr and Mrs Crisp. This one stars a fresh-faced David Thewlis as a lazy Roman and features a strangely confrontational slogan. Next: a comic little ditty about armpit stank. Featuring a chance to see Ann Bryson advertising something other than cream cheese for a change. AND THEN another post office advert. Everyone loves a letter, especially poor bastards stuck on aircraft carriers in the middle of the ocean. It means much more in code. Finally of finallies, Queensway! The furniture and carpet shop that was one of the first in the UK to sell straight out of their impossibly vast out-of-town warehouses instead of bothering to distribute to town-centre stores. They have a sale for the end of the summer holidays. It MUST end 6pm Monday or GOD ALONE KNOWS WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN. And now: Paul Lally and the by now somewhat long in the tooth YTV clock introduce the ITN News. By now they've finally dropped the increasingly inappropriately jolly "Non Stop" in favour of this buzzing synth styles. The headlines with Trevor Macdonald: a hovercraft caught fire in the middle of the Channel! But everyone's okay! God, the news used to be nice.