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Donald Trump is threatening to illegally send federal troops into Portland, but we know it's mostly to distract from releasing the Epstein Files. See also: • "Portland Man" (The Beatles "Nowhere Man" parody) • Portland Man (The Beatles "Nowhere Man" pa... • "Mr. Robinson" (Simon and Garfunkel "Mrs. Robinson" parody) • Mr. Robinson (Mark Robinson / Donald Trump... • To the tune of "Graceland" by Paul Simon. • Music from a cover by The Lonely Heartstring Band • Graceland === Lyrics === The Mar-a-Lago felon, distracting with his fascist repertoire He has promised to deliver up his country to enable one more civil war He’s going to Portland, Portland, yes I guarantee He’s going to Portland Proud Boys have signed up to hunt families And they are going to Portland Their traveling companion is Kristi Noem She just likes to do her cosplay But I am thinking that in fact they just want to distract from Epstein The people rise up against Don As if he didn’t want that As if it wasn’t part of his big scheme As if he wouldn’t relish the sound of every bullet, every scream And they say Project 2025 is moving right along Even as you listen to this song They’re pushing their agenda He’s going to Portland, yes I guarantee He’s going to Portland Proud Boys have signed up to hunt families And they are going to Portland Their traveling companion has crossed-up his eye sockets I’m talkin ‘bout Kash Patel now But I am thinking that in fact they just want to distract from Epstein There was a girl in Mar-a-Lago, under-age and working at the spa That Donald said was stolen by Epstein And sometimes when I think of her, I say “Whoa, the people that she saw…” And now she’s gone because of Epstein And you could lose democracy just like they’re turning off a light Everybody be prepared to fight Everybody raise your hand up Ooh, ooh, ohh In Portland, in Portland He’s going to Portland For reasons, he cannot deny He just wants to distract you all from Epstein And he may be obliged to defend how Epstein was his best friend But he thinks there's no obligations now Maybe there someday will be trials that show he’s in the files of Epstein Whoa, oh, oh In Portland, In Portland, In Portland, They’re going to Portland