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I spent 10 years obsessively saving for early retirement because I craved one thing: freedom. Freedom from performing. Freedom from showing up on someone else's terms. Freedom to finally discover who I am when nobody's watching. But here's what I didn't expect: that freedom would be absolutely terrifying. In this video, I'm sharing the most disorienting part of my retirement journey—the moment when all my performative motivations disappeared and I had no idea who I was supposed to be anymore. It's been jarring, unsettling, and honestly scary enough that I've considered not retiring at all. Then I stumbled across a framework that changed everything: organize, disorganize, reorganize. Turns out I'm not falling apart—I'm just in the messy middle of transformation. And on the other side? A more authentic, peaceful version of myself that I've never met before. If you're saving for early retirement because you want freedom, this video might prepare you for the uncomfortable truth: you're going to have to unbecome everything you've been performing as, before you can become who you're meant to be.