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Choked

Pressure in my lungs, I’m holdin’ everything inside, every shadow that I swallow got me scared of what I hide, silent thunder in my stomach, every heartbeat feels denied, I keep choking on the truth ‘cause I’m afraid of what I’d say out loud tonight I’ve been walking like a ghost through the echoes in my chest, every word I never spoke became the thing that I regret, if my anger was a storm I’d be the calm that it protects, ’cause I’m terrified of losing what I’m trying not to let And I breathe but I don’t feel alive, every note that I don’t scream is a crime, if this rage ever learned how to rise, would I burn or finally survive? I choke every time I try to speak your name, all these voices in my head wanna take the blame, I keep bleeding in the dark like a hidden flame, I’m alive but I’m dying just the same I choke every time I try to change my fate, every silence that I choose makes it escalate, if I drown in every feeling that I can’t translate, tell me why does every heartbeat hesitate? There’s a pressure in my bones like a poison wanna burst, every tear I’ve been collecting feels like something that I cursed, I keep swallowing the anger till my stomach starts to hurt, and I bury every shout ‘cause I’m afraid of sounding worse All the nights I couldn’t breathe became the pages that I tear, every thought is like a weapon I’m too scared to ever wear, if destruction had a voice it would be whispering “I’m here”, but I silence every scream just because I live in fear And I grow but I don’t really change, every step just circles back to the pain, if this rage ever breaks from the chains, would I fade or finally explain? I choke every time I try to speak your name, all these voices in my head wanna take the blame, I keep bleeding in the dark like a hidden flame, I’m alive but I’m dying just the same I choke every time I try to change my fate, every silence that I choose makes it escalate, if I drown in every feeling that I can’t translate, tell me why does every heartbeat hesitate? I choke every time I try to speak your name, all these voices in my head wanna take the blame, I keep bleeding in the dark like a hidden flame, I’m alive but I’m dying just the same I choke every time I try to change my fate, every silence that I choose makes it escalate, if I drown in every feeling that I can’t translate, tell me why does every heartbeat hesitate? And I choke again, yeah I choke again.