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LIES Your Parents Told You

I’m beginning to realize that parents are way smarter than they let on… because by twisting the truth, they’ve managed to keep their children in check for dozens of years. You might have heard some of these half-truths yourself, and you can add yours a little later! Subscribe to Talltanic http://goo.gl/wgfvrr 13 - Survived the test of time… This is a lie that seems to have been passed on from generation to generation, and kids, bless their naivety, fall for it every time. You probably believed this one for a while too – if you pee in a swimming pool, there’s a special dye in the pool that turns your bodily functions red. Even though I know it’s not true, it’s not something I do in a hurry! 12 - You wouldn’t like it… That’s a lie you save for when you’re eating something utterly heavenly, and you’re not willing to part with even one tiny bite. Oh, this chocolate cake? It’s awful honey, you wouldn’t like it. Works particularly well with Halloween candy. 11 - You’re allergic… This could link up nicely with our previous post. Feel free to devour anything you like in front of your kid. The moment they also want to eat your cake, cookies, fries… simply tell them they’re allergic. To make it more believable, show them images of kids who’ve had allergic reactions to food items… it will scare them from ever eating those foods again. 10 - I’m watching you, always watching… Smoke alarms make great props to enhance the lie you’re telling your offspring. One mom convinced her children that the smoke detectors were actually Santa-cams, and that’s how Santa managed to keep an eye on the kids 24/7. I’m pretty sure she had the most well-behaved children ever! 9 - Now that’s harsh… But, hey, if it works, it works! This dad told his children that if they didn’t hold his hand while crossing the road, they would be run over. His proof? He told him that the oil stains on the road were the leftovers of kids who didn’t hold their parent’s hands! 8 - It’s spicy… Again, let’s use chocolate cake as an example… don’t want to share it? Easy solution – tell your children that it’s spicy! Fries? Spicy! Milkshakes? Spicy… you get my point! 7 - Best you behave… One mom had a pretty clever trick to keep her children in check while at the mall. Firstly, she used to tell them that when the stores were all closed up, that was the mall jail and secondly, the kid mannequins were all the boys and girls that didn’t behave in the mall that day. Needless to say, going to the mall was a pleasure for this mom. 6 - Vacation Mode… I mean, even stuffed animals need a vacation, right? A very common lie parents use is, “I think your favourite stuffed animal is on vacation.” And by vacation, you mean you have absolutely no idea where the poor animal has ended up. If you’re not a parent yet, and you think this is something you could never imagine doing, then think of it as survival skills. Parenting is all about surviving, and if fabricating a story will help you to survive, then you have our permission! 5.- Hair on your chest… Getting some adults to eat spinach is bad enough, now try getting a child to eat it! One dad told his little girl that eating spinach would put hair on her chest. Of course, as the little girl grew older and realized she wasn’t meant to have hair on her chest, her dad simply laughed at her. Well, what she did get was loads of protein, fibre, and plenty of vitamins. 4 - It’s a tie… Children have very sensitive souls, and you can let them down gently by telling them that the race you just won was a tie, or the game you also just won, was a tie. Of course, deep down, your kid knows that’s not the truth, but it will help to ease the pain at that very moment. Bear in mind, this lie has a limited shelf life, because your kid can’t go through life thinking they’re winning at everything when they’re actually not! 3 - It’s so boring… Pulp Fiction was released in 1994, and it was a film that everyone wanted to see, even some children. A quick-thinking dad told his child that the movie was merely a documentary about oranges, and it was exceptionally boring! Luckily for him, the kid bought his story! 2 - They’re just resting… You’re brave if you buy fish for your children, as there’s a very fine balance between keeping them alive and preventing the cats from nabbing an early dinner. Inevitably, the little sods begin swimming a little more slowly, and it’s at that point that you need to be rushing to buy a duplicate, and act as if nothing happened. If you miss the window of opportunity, then plan B – LIE! Yes, I have noticed your fish has been sleepy lately, I’m sure he’s going to wake up soon. And then head to the nearest pet store ASAP! 1...