Dealing with Change by Starting Vs. Stopping скачать в хорошем качестве

Dealing with Change by Starting Vs. Stopping

"Change isn't about what you are stopping... it's about what you are starting." Bill Crawford, Ph.D. This has become an important concept in my seminars and coaching/counseling sessions recently, and therefore, I have decided to make it the focus of my weekly newsletter in order to give those who are looking to become more influential in their lives another powerful tool. Plus, it gives me a chance to offer an alternative to the fear-based perspective that is being touted by the media and even many organizations professing to be dedicated to personal growth. In other words, I'm suggesting that rather than worrying about what we need to stop, or be afraid of (being to fat, thin, old, young, depressed, anxious, stressed, strict, lenient, tough, soft) you name it, I suggest that we choose instead to focus on what we are starting. Rather than stopping overeating, we start eating in a way we would teach to someone we loved. Rather than stop wasting our time on bad relationships, we start creating our relationships in a way that reflects our vision of what a loving relationship should be. Rather than stop worrying about things over which we have no control, we start becoming more influential in the area of our lives that we have the most influence, which is almost always the qualities and characteristics that we bring to life. Of course, there are some situations where stopping something is a good idea (stop doing drugs, abusing alcohol, etc.). However, even the programs that are designed to accomplish these goals list stopping as only the first step. Afterwards, it's all about what you are starting (making amends, helping others, etc.). Plus, the behavior of stopping or starting actually engages very different parts of the brain. If we are trying to stop something, it means that we are concerned that if we don't stop it, bad things will happen. This fear-based belief engages the fight-or-flight part of the brain, and dumps stress hormones such as cortisol into our body. On the other hand, when we focus on what we want to start, we engage the frontal lobes of the neocortex (the part of the brain responsible for planning and thinking about the future). This also engages the rest of the neocortex in a way that results in more purposeful choices, and that's the important part, because sometimes we can't know if a decision is the "right one," but if we are willing to make it about starting something (versus stopping) and make it "on purpose" or deliberately (versus by habit or a fear-based reaction), then even if it turns out to be the wrong decision, we are in the best position to choose again using what we have learned. On the other hand, if we are simply focused on what we need to stop, we are forced to make that decision from the limited, lower 20% of the brain. Further, if it turns out that stopping a particular problem doesn't create a solution (which is almost always the case), we are left with more confusion and concern, which could easily trigger another round of fear-based decision making. Therefore, I suggest that we shift from the need to stop the problem, to the desire to start the solution... from our worry about what will happen if we don't stop _______, to our vision of who we want to be, how we want to be, and what we want to create instead... from the lower 20% of the brain to the "Top of the Mind." Given that each moment and each day is another opportunity to start again, wouldn't it be a good idea to make "starting" part of our highest purpose? For those of you wanting some support in attaining this skill, feel free to go to my website (www.BillCrawfordPhd.com) and contact me. I would love to help. For those of you who feel that my material and presentation style would add value to your organization/and or your next event, feel free to contact me in the same way, and we can discuss the details.