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Existential Depression and the Gifted Mind

Full Text: https://eggshelltherapy.com/existenti... Sometimes, we have a lingering, niggling sense that says you are capable of more than your life currently reflects. Perhaps you wake up with a quiet, persistent hum that whispers you are in the wrong city, the wrong company, the wrong room. You function well on the surface, meeting obligations and appearing competent, but beneath the surface there is a constant awareness that you are hemorrhaging meaning, that something essential remains unlived and unexpressed. You watch peers announce promotions, publications, and prestigious positions, and feel a burning mixture of longing and shame at your own reaction. Why does their success feel like an indictment of your choices? Why can you not simply be happy for them? Does that mean you are somehow a horrible person to be feeling a bit envious? Existential depression in gifted adults can come from sensing the gap between your capacities and what your circumstances allow. It is the warfare between the part of you that wants to unfurl toward something larger and the part that has learned, through years of correction and dismissal, that your brightness is dangerous. We are taught to interpret this dissonance as personal failure, as arrogance, as evidence that we have somehow made the wrong life choices. We shame ourselves for wanting recognition, for caring about prestige, for imagining ourselves in contexts that finally match our internal magnitude. But what if the pain is not pathological? What if it is developmental, a sign of growth, and the seed of your next breakthrough? Psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut wrote about our human need for mirroring, for having our inner reality reflected back accurately by our environment. For those whose complexity, intensity, and particular cognitive capacities were rarely recognized or understood, the longing for congruence between internal and external reality is not shallow vanity. When you fantasize about being at a prestigious institution or in a vibrant professional community, you are not necessarily chasing status. You are imagining finally being in an environment where your intellectual intensity would not be threatening, where your innovative thinking would be welcomed, where you could experience what Kohut called "twinship" connection. You are imagining the relief of no longer having to translate yourself into a language others can bear. Kazimierz Dąbrowski proposed that certain forms of psychological suffering are signs of growth, markers of a psyche attempting to reorganize itself at a higher level of functioning. Your existential depression, with all its envy, restlessness, and internal conflict, might be a kind of “positive disintegration," the productive falling apart of a self that no longer fits so that something more authentic can emerge. Maybe, the pain you feel now may be evidence that you are becoming ready for a breakthrough, that your consciousness is attempting to evolve beyond the limitations that have confined it for years. Continue reading to understand why your envy is a messenger, how the lack of mirroring created your current distress, and what it means to hold the tension between who you are and who you might become without collapsing into either denial or self-destruction. Note: Existential depression as discussed here is not a clinical diagnosis in the DSM and can coexist with clinical depression. Please do not hesitate to seek psychiatric input if clinical depression is part of your experience. Full Text: https://eggshelltherapy.com/existenti... == Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com/ Imi Lo: imiloimilo.com Sister Channel:    / @eggshelltherapy_imilo   Facebook:   / eggshelltransformations   Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/discl... Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute professional consultation, psychotherapy, diagnosis, or any mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken strictly at your own risk. For a full disclaimer, please refer to: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/discl...