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I hope I'm wrong...but I refuse to be blind to inevitability a second time. The decades of hysteria have made too many people blase about her, now feeling that they've watched the car-crash too long, and who cares anymore, but it's eerie how things shift when someone really is gone for good... Eugenia, if you're out there...go hug your dog? Go do something that brings you as close to joy as you're able to feel, now. From one human to another, with no judgement, I hope there's at least one person on this wobbly Earth that you can trust enough to talk honestly with. I hope you're not going through this alone, or so masked you may as well be alone. I repeat - go hug your dog. You can always trust dogs, at least. And if you want another shot at life, at recovery...I hope like hell you go after it, and that you get that second chance, that fresh chapter. You might not feel it, but you are still young. If you want any kind of life on this Earth, I reckon you've got it in you to make it happen, if you can just fight against this spiral. I know how tempting despair, and surrender, can be - how comforting, in a sick kind of way...but it doesn't have to be too late. Things could still change. I wish you the best of luck...