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Dedicated to my dear poet-friend and collaborator, Wayne A. Gilbert. Sending love to all who are grieving any kind of loss, to all who have been broken open and will never be the same. I hope this music, poem, and these scenes of sunflower fields and butterflies will bring you some comfort. I wrote this piece for Wayne's memorial service on October 24th, 2025. It was an honor to play with some of Wayne's friends and collaborators at his service, and to witness how much he uplifted everyone who knew him in beautiful ways. This piece was inspired by the line "and sunflowers that grow year round" in the last poem he emailed to me. This year I have been broken open by losing my mom, Loretta Fahrion, to ovarian cancer in March. I wrote and recorded a few arrangements for her celebration of life that was held in May, and other than that haven't been able to create much music. A favorite photo of my mom that we used for her service was of her in her garden surrounded by giant sunflowers, so the fact that all three of the last poems Wayne sent to me mentioned sunflowers felt even more meaningful. I saw losing your mom described as a homesickness that never ends, and that describes the feeling better than anything else for me. Here is the poem that inspired this piece, shared here with gracious permission from Wayne's family: not afraid of monsters by wayne a. gilbert i used to be afraid of monsters. i remember clearly a nightmare i had just before i started the 3rd grade. we’d been to my grandparents’ farm. grampa had rented a bull (he milked a cow). he made sure i was deathly afraid of that bull so i wouldn’t sneak around and get in trouble. in my nightmare the bull chases me everywhere! at the end of the nightmare i’m on the caboose of a fast-moving train— standing on the little entry platform at the end. i look back down the tracks— and there is the bull charging after the train— and he’s gaining ground. i woke up screaming. much later in life i would have terrible night-terrors regularly because of parkinson’s— nowadays i’m looking back down the tracks of my whole life. this is my last trip. i’m trying not to be afraid of what awaits me at the end of the line. i’m hoping for a warm family welcome a lot fewer symptoms a cozy little refuge perhaps near a river and sunflowers that grow year round— no monsters no suffering peace and quiet except when the little club in town hosts a poetry-and-jazz night and i can remember all my poems and there’s a saxophonist ready to jam— and we’re on fire! Sheet music for this piece is now available here: https://pianopronto.com/composers-com... recorded on an Athena Narrow-key keyboard used as a MIDI controller for Pianoteq felt piano in 5-limit just intonation All of the photos and a couple of the videos are my own, mostly taken in Colorado. Other video clips of painted lady butterflies and sunflower fields are by Zuzanna Musial. Buy Me a Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/stacyf Recordings: https://whimsicallymacabre.bandcamp.com/ website: https://www.whimsicallymacabre.com/ Get vidIQ to grow your channel faster! 🚀 https://vidiq.com/whimsy