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Why don’t we always feel safe in love, even with people we care about most? In this episode of The Sensitivity Doctor Podcast, Dr. Amelia Kelley sits down with psychotherapist and author Jessica Baum, creator of Anxiously Attached and Safe: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building Secure Relationships. Jessica explains how our early experiences shape the way we connect, love, and regulate our emotions. She introduces her groundbreaking Wheel of Attachment and reveals how attachment styles shift depending on who we’re with and how safe we feel. Together, Amelia and Jessica unpack: ✔️The real difference between anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment ✔️Why neglect can wound deeper than abuse ✔️How trauma lives in the nervous system—and how to rewire it ✔️Why highly sensitive people often become anxious attachers ✔️Practical ways to create safety and healing in your relationships If you’ve ever wondered “Why do I keep repeating these patterns?” or “How can I finally feel secure in love?” — this episode is for you. 👇 Timestamps 00:00 – Welcome and introduction to Jessica Baum 01:30 – What inspired Safe and how it continues the work of Anxiously Attached 03:00 – Understanding the Wheel of Attachment 06:00 – Why neglect can be more harmful than abuse 09:00 – The “blank stare” and how disconnection impacts the nervous system 12:00 – How our caregivers shape our regulation and sense of safety 14:00 – Adult relationships and repeating attachment patterns 16:00 – Why we’re drawn to narcissistic or emotionally unavailable partners 19:00 – Healing anxious-avoidant dynamics in relationships 22:00 – How co-regulation builds safety 26:00 – Nervous system activation and the “fight, flight, or freeze” cycle in couples 29:00 – Left vs. right hemisphere: how your brain affects connection 30:00 – Understanding disorganized attachment and “pockets” of fear 33:00 – Sensitivity, empathy, and attachment 37:00 – Why narcissism stems from early wounding 40:00 – The science of healing: what your body needs to feel safe 42:00 – How to access Jessica’s free resources and connect with her Connect with Dr. Amelia Kelley: 🌍 Website: https://www.ameliakelley.com 📸 Instagram: / drameliakelley 👩🏼💼 LinkedIn: / drameliakelley #AttachmentTheory #RelationshipHealing #EmotionalSafety