Make Like a Monk & Get the Girl?? | Zen & the Art of Relationships! скачать в хорошем качестве

Make Like a Monk & Get the Girl?? | Zen & the Art of Relationships!

Believe it or not, a Zen monastery is a pretty good place to learn how to be in a relationship. So good, in fact, that my Zen teacher used to say, "The only true monastery in the West is marriage." (Now that I think about it maybe we were all just really bad monks -- ANYHEW!!) Today's video gives us 7 Zen Tips for Better Relationships. You're probably thinking...Gosh, that sounds BORING. Well, you know what? I've included a story FOR YOU at the very end of this video. In it I talk about the worst date I ever went on wherein a fine young literary woman told me about how she was Chief Editor of a magazine you probably have (NOT) heard of called . . . drumroll please . . . Poop Quarterly. But first!! Before the laughs, LOVE. My 7 Zen tips for better relationships are: 1) DUDE, IT'S JUST KARMA! Seriously. My definition of karma here is: your situation. And by situation I mean: birthplace, gender, body type, sex drive, sexual orientation, biochemistry, mental capacity, IQ, EQ, personality, geography, income level, upbringing, blah blah etc. In other words, I think some of us worry and fret and get angry at ourselves and our partners and our love lives, but guess what? We ALL show up every day for each other with a big fat bag of good and bad karma. So my point is, DON'T BEAT YOURSELF -- OR YOUR PARNTER -- UP. Accept your karma, make it work, do your best, show up every day for your partner . . . or move on, because the best way to change your karma is to END a relationship. 2) YOU COMPLETE ME? NAH. Long ago Tom "couch hopper" Cruise via Jerry Maguire told his beloved: "You complete me." As usual, Tom Cruise was wrong. A partner is not responsible for completing you. A partner is there to be your companion. They're not there to affirm delusions or fulfill fantasies. Your happiness is your own responsibility, not your spouse's. 3) HAVE ZERO EXPECTATIONS! I mean it! Don't count up merit points in a relationship, i.e. who's doing more dishes/laundry/dog-walking etc. DO stuff for each other freely! It feels great, like you're serving the relationship, not SERVING TIME in a relationship. This is easier to do if ya don't have kids. Speaking of which . . . 4) DON'T HAVE KIDS! This works wonders for a relationship!! (I'm kidding of course kind of not really.) 5) ZERO PROJECTIONS, BUDDY! When you're close to someone it's really easy to make them the cause for your problems and unhappiness. They're right there, after all! Your mental state MUST be their fault. It's not. Take care of your side of the street, don't make your partner responsible for your fulfillment, happiness, or problems. 6) ABC: ALWAYS BE CLEARIN' . . . THE AIR!!!! When you fight, don't let it fester. Cos that sh** can go bad quickly. Apologize, or ask for an apology, open up the can of worms, sit down, hash it out. Sometimes, yes, letting a problem "sit" means it will dissolve or cool off, okay, but when something really needs to be addressed, baby, address it!! Otherwise it festers and rots. 7) And finally, HAVE FUN!!! I DO NOT believe in a relationship as something that "takes work." Phooey!! Have fun with your partner, and if they're not fun, dump 'em. Speaking of dumps...... We close this video with the worst funniest dating story you will ever hear. It involves a woman, me, and the magazine she claimed to edit, a magazine about, um, #2. I offer these videos for free, but you can support my work here: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?busine... You can find essays, blogs, and videos here: patreon.com/ShozanJackHaubner And buy my books here: https://www.amazon.com/Shozan-Jack-Ha...