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Ghosted? Here’s why ghosting hurts so bad—and what to do next (without chasing, pleading, or bargaining your dignity). In this video, I brain-map the “ghosting reflex” with a simple 3-system model: 1) The Alarm (why your mind spirals when someone vanishes) 2) The Shutdown Switch (how dismissive-avoidant patterns de-activate closeness) 3) The Relief Loop (why ghosting can repeat as a learning cycle) If you’re here because you were ghosted after a great date, after “I like you,” after conflict, or after the first serious conversation—this will help you understand what happened AND how to respond with boundaries. What you’ll learn: • Why silence + no closure can feel like threat (ostracism + ambiguity) • The “trigger sequence” that can push avoidant nervous systems into distance • Why “they came back” isn’t the same as repair (and what repair actually requires) • What to do if you were ghosted (one clean message, then stop) • What to do if you’re the one who disappears (micro-exit + building tolerance) CHAPTERS 0:00 - The Silence of the Signal 01:59 Why ghosting hurt so bad? 03:12 The trigger sequence 04:22 The network-level view (why “brain-mapping” matters) 06:28 The paradox 07:03 System one: the Alarm. 08:08 System two: the Shutdown Switch. 09:45 System three: the Relief Loop. 11:01 If you were ghosted 11:43 If you are the one who disappears 12:12 The psychiatrist’s perspective 13:04 Why this matters - Compassion Without Self-Abandonment Scientific References & Further Reading: Social exclusion and "social pain" circuitry (dACC, insula) research. Neurobiological underpinnings of attachment networks and deactivating strategies. Resting-state connectivity and attachment neurochemistry (DMN–salience links). Stress physiology mismatch: Subjective vs. physiological regulation in avoidance. Neural bases of expressive suppression and physiological arousal. If you feel comfortable, leave a comment—what part of this matched your experience? We learn best when we learn together. HumanCode is a psychiatrist-led channel dedicated to understanding the mind, one insight at a time. If you found this helpful, please subscribe and share your story in the comments—I read them personally. Disclaimer: This video is for educational purposes only and does not constitute a doctor-patient relationship or medical advice. If you are experiencing harm or feel unsafe, please prioritize your immediate safety. Thanks for watching. And as always—be kind to yourself. You are important, too. #HumanCode#ghosting #avoidantattachment #attachmenttheory More on HumanCode: • HumanCode