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Most people don’t enter difficult conversations trying to start a fight. We usually want to feel understood, respected, or closer to the other person — and yet so many of these conversations still end in frustration and disconnection. In this video, I explain why difficult conversations often derail and share a simple self-reflection framework you can use before or even during a challenging conversation to help you stay focused on what truly matters — even when emotions rise. Using a relatable relationship scenario, we’ll explore how conflict can shift from connection to competition, and how a few intentional pauses can change the direction of the conversation. ⏱️ Timestamps 00:00 – Introduction & purpose of the video 01:21 – Common relationship scenario: when conversations derail 03:23 – Why it can be hard to maintain focus during difficult conversations 04:58 – What do I really want for myself? 05:48 – What do I really want for the other person? 06:24 – What do I really want for the relationship? 07:05 – How would I behave if I wanted to meet these goals? 07:33 – Reimagining the conversation with intention and clarity 09:28 – Key takeaways & closing reflections 🔗 Related Video ▶️ Why Conflict Hijacks Your Brain (And What to Do About It): • Why Conflict Hijacks Your Brain (And What ... 📚 Sources & Further Reading This video draws on ideas from the following works, interpreted and explained in my own words: • Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High. McGraw-Hill. #ConflictResolution #DifficultConversations #CommunicationSkills #HealthyRelationships #EmotionalRegulation #ConflictCoaching #RelationshipSkills #PersonalGrowth #SelfReflection #ConflictAwareness Welcome to my channel! I’m Shannon Thompson — a conflict resolution professional, mediator, and conflict coach based in Maine. I create simple, practical tools to help you navigate conflict with clarity, confidence, and self-awareness. 💬 Let’s Connect Facebook: / shannon.thompson.conflict.resolution LinkedIn: / sthompsonconflictresolution TikTok: @shannonexplainsconflict 📚 About This Channel This channel is dedicated to helping you understand conflict, manage emotional triggers, communicate more effectively, and navigate tough conversations with the people who matter most. 🔖 Hashtags #conflictresolution #communicationtips #emotionalintelligence #mediation #mainebusiness #conflictcoaching #boundaries #relationshipskills #emotionalintelligence #familydynamics #conflictduringholidays #selfgrowth #mentalwellbeing #personaldevelopment #workplace conflict #communication #co-parenting conflict