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You keep talking about what you want to change — but you're not changing it. Before you call that procrastination or self sabotage, consider this: what if being stuck in life isn't a motivation vs discipline problem? A therapist breaks down why the gap between your aspirations and your actions might be telling you something true about your actual circumstances — and why how to stop self sabotage advice might be solving the wrong problem entirely. 🔑 WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: The two kinds of gaps: psychological resistance vs. material constraints — and why mixing them up keeps you in self-blame How to tell if life not going as planned is something to work through or something to grieve A diagnostic framework for "why can't I follow through" that goes beyond mindset fixes Why aspirational talk can be a healthy response to closed doors, not a character flaw Permission to hold some aspirations loosely while you figure out what's actually yours to change ❓ QUESTIONS THIS VIDEO ANSWERS: Why can't I follow through even when I know what I want? How do I stop self sabotage? Is being stuck in life a mindset problem or something else? Why do I keep talking about change but never actually do it? How do I know if fear of change is holding me back or if my circumstances are the real obstacle? ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 Introduction 1:05 The Two Kinds of Gaps 2:35 When Psychology Meets Material Reality 5:54 The Grief Underneath the Gap 7:19 What This Means Practically 9:14 The Permission 10:10 Closing ABOUT THE INTEGRITY EDIT: I'm Jessica Allen, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). I help people navigate midlife transitions through values alignment and psychological flexibility—not toxic positivity or optimization culture. This channel is for the quiet struggle of midlife—where everything looks fine on the surface but internally you're rearranging. Clinical frameworks for identity transitions—translated, not dumbed down. No guru positioning. No quick fixes. Just honest conversation and frameworks that help you think more clearly. What makes this different: Lived experience (MS diagnosis at 35, navigating forced identity disruption for 15+ years) + clinical training in developmental psychology and narrative therapy. Truth over comfort. Company over answers. 🔔 Subscribe for 2-3x weekly videos on navigating midlife transitions with integrity. DISCLAIMER: This content is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you're experiencing crisis-level distress, please contact a licensed mental health provider or crisis helpline. #midlife #midlifetransition #midlifewomen #lifeafter40 #selfawareness #selfimprovement #personalgrowth #procrastination #selfsabotage #fearofchange #valuesalignment #integritywork #midlifepurpose #psychologicalflexibility #integrityedit