coulou's cafe trumpet meditations (no. 65) скачать в хорошем качестве

coulou's cafe trumpet meditations (no. 65)

what a journey! so this meditation is the final track on an album of pocket sized (5 minute) meditations i released today with an amazing team and label ‪@theardenrecords‬ . here is a link to stream the album, it would really mean so much if you streamed it/shared it/held it and rocked it in your arms like a little baby https://platoon.lnk.to/a-good-place-t... the rest of the songs aren't on youtube, they are just existing in the universe of audio. everything im doing is an endless experiment and i still feel like i have no idea what i am doing but i'm starting to learn to enjoy the feeling of not knowing. i really appreciate how much you've all stuck with me through this and am just so grateful i get to keep creating and sharing with you all. in the light of being transparent/honest/open about myself and my journey (even though nobody asked) i just wanna share where my heads been at. i've kinda been going through it recently, finding it hard to balance the love of creating music with the anxiety of not being good enough at what i do, letting other projects fall through, overcommitting myself to the wrong things, undercommitting myself to the things i should be doing. i kinda got myself tied up in knotts about it. while writing this now i am taking a deep breath to think about all that i've been able to do this past year, soooo much of what i have done has been guided by my willingness to risk failure. through that i have accomplished things that me two years ago would be so unbelievably proud of. being here now though it just becomes apparent that i don't know what to make of "success." everytime i set a new bar i seem to make that bar the new floor and immediately look up to the next one. i see how much that has helped me throughout my life, but i also can feel how it puts me in a perpetual state of inadequacy. it's so so interesting, like, i know i want to continue making better and greater and more beautiful works of art my whole life and i believe that journey has no end goal, just keep doing it until i cannot anymore. butttt i experience each step as a hike up a hill that i am endlessly climbing and every goal i reach is another false peak on the mountain of eternity. the contradiction im experiencing, or maybe the internal conflict, is that because i see a peak up ahead, i feel the drive, the desire to continue to push up the mountain and reach that peak. that desire is what leads me to practice trumpet everyday, film and record meditations, write and record albums, do sessions and collaborations with other artists, DJ vinyl , and everything else. its like even though i know that there is no peak of the mountain, do i still need to constantly believe that there is one in order to feel that drive and purpose? if i were to accept its actually a flat path that i continue to walk will i lose that energy inside myself that needs to create? i dont know, i know i don't want to be the cliche "tortured artist" character, and i have so much joy in goodness in my life too, but it is something that's been on my mind a lot recently. if anyone has any profound insights on this i'd love to know. if you made it this far, thanks for entertaining my ramble, i hope it made some bit of sense. thank you everyone, i love you all so much , coulou