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🏴☠️🔥🪳 A Song of Lice and Fire 🪳🔥🏴☠️ Hoist the sails and hide yer combs, ye scurvy sea dogs! This be a rowdy, humorous pirate anthem about the greatest foe ever faced upon the Seven Seas… not krakens, not navies — but LICE! 🪳⚓ With fiery fiddles, stompin’ boots, and a chorus fit for a tavern full o’ scratchin’ buccaneers, this shanty tells the tragic (an’ itchy) tale of a crew battlin’ vermin with rum, flame, and questionable hygiene. 🔥🍺 Sing along, scratch proudly, and join the Itchin’ Armada! ⚓ Perfect for fans of pirate folk, comedy shanties, and chaotic sea ballads 🔥 Loud chorus, tavern energy, ridiculous lyrics 🪳 Warning: May cause phantom itching If ye enjoyed this madness, don’t forget to like, subscribe, and hoist the notification bell, ye glorious sea rats! 🛎️🏴☠️ Lyrics: [Verse 1] Oh gather, ye scallywags, scratchin’ yer hair, For battle be brewin’ wi’ fleas everywhere! Me beard’s full o’ critters, me britches afire, We sail ‘neath the banner o’ lice an’ desire! [Chorus] A song o’ lice an’ fire, me hearties! Scratch high, ye dogs, an’ scratch higher! From the crown o’ yer head to yer peg-leg’s pyre, We’re burnin’ an’ itchin’ in lice an’ fire! [Verse 2] The captain cries, “Stand fast, ye crew!” But he’s scratchin’ his breeches like the rest o’ you! The first mate’s dancin’ a feverish jig, Whilst tiny wee beasties feast on his wig! [Chorus] A song o’ lice an’ fire, me hearties! Comb deep, ye rogues, don’t tire! If the rum don’t kill ‘em, we’ll roast ‘em entire, Sing loud o’ the lice an’ fire! [Verse 3] We bathe not often, that be our pride, Salt, tar, an’ sweat be our cologne wide! But curses abound in the hammock’s hay, Where armies o’ crawlies plot mutiny day! [Chorus] A song o’ lice an’ fire, me hearties! Comb deep, ye rogues, don’t tire! If the rum don’t kill ‘em, we’ll roast ‘em entire, Sing loud o’ the lice an’ fire! [Bridge] So light up the torches! Heat up the steel! Brandish the comb like a cutlass o’ zeal! For though we be pirates fierce an’ dire— No beast bests us in lice an’ fire! [Verse 4] The cook tried drownin’ ‘em all in stew, But the lice swam back sayin’, “How d’ye do?” The powder monkey shaved his head, Now the lice throw feasts in the captain’s bed! [Chorus – Final, louder] A song o’ lice an’ fire, me hearties! Scratch bold, ye rogues o’ the mire! Though seas may rage an’ cannons conspire, We’ll ne’er be bested by lice an’ fire! [Verse 5] So raise yer mugs high, ye itchy brigade, Let legends be told o’ the scratch we made! For gold be grand, an’ plunder be fine, But victory o’er vermin be truly divine! [Chorus] A song o’ lice an’ fire, me hearties! Comb deep, ye rogues, don’t tire! If the rum don’t kill ‘em, we’ll roast ‘em entire, Sing loud o’ the lice an’ fire! [Final Chorus – Rowdy & Triumphant] A song o’ lice an’ fire, forever! Together we scratch an’ perspire! Through storm an’ plague we’ll always aspire To conquer the curse o’ lice an’ fire!