They Found a Human Camp on a Class 16 Deathworld—With a BBQ and Lawn Chairs | HFY Stories скачать в хорошем качестве

They Found a Human Camp on a Class 16 Deathworld—With a BBQ and Lawn Chairs | HFY Stories

Deep in the uncharted wilds of the galaxy lies Blorxt IV — a Class 16 Deathworld where the soil has teeth, the air judges you, and survival is a myth. When a crew from the Galactic Survey Corps is sent to investigate a mysterious heat signature, they expect catastrophe. What they find instead is a human... grilling. Stranded for 12 years, this lone man has turned a planetary hellscape into a backyard barbecue, armed with scrap metal, sarcasm, and a flamethrower named Susan. But when interstellar factions come hunting for the ancient artifact he accidentally unearthed, the question isn’t just how is he still alive? — it’s who the hell would try to stop him? 🪐 Explosions, existential dread, sentient toasters, and tactical bacon launchers await in this unapologetically human tale of grit, grill marks, and galactic defiance. ✨Characters featuring in this story: 🔹 The Human (Hank) – A man who survived a Deathworld using only spite, barbecue skills, and absurd engineering. Wears sunglasses. Fights intergalactic cults between lunch and dessert. Possibly being mentally influenced by an ancient sentient sphere. Definitely doesn’t care. 🦎 Captain Gribble – A four-eyed reptilian commander with chitinous armor and more regrets than limbs. Leads the mission with the kind of authority that screams, “I didn’t sign up for this.” 👾 Lieutenant Kreech – Species unknown, attitude permanent. Glides, hovers, calculates — the translucent alien tactician with seven fingers and no patience for nonsense. Especially not barbecue-based nonsense. 😵‍💫 Officer Dibb – Holds himself together with caffeine, denial, and occasional sock puppets. The crew’s emotional barometer and comic relief... when he’s not being terrified of lunch. 🐀 Greg – A microwave-shaped rodent trained to scream when danger’s near. He is shy. He is brave. He is legend. 🪐 The Artifact (Core of Continuity) – A mysterious, ancient techno-organic sphere that urges its holder to build, defy entropy, and think too hard about everything. May or may not be developing a sense of humor. ⚔️ The Invaders – Armor-clad scavengers from various factions (Order of Reclamation, The Custodians, etc.) hunting for power, knowledge, and a shiny object that doesn’t want them back.