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Can you get better at deciding who you should and shouldn't trust? The answer is most likely yes. This video describes the importance and inherent riskiness of trusting other people. It presents 9 tools for deciding whether or not you should trust someone which, when used in combination, may help you to better assess the potential costs and benefits of trusting others. This is a follow-up to my earlier video "Why Do I Trust People?" which describes an evidence based psychological model of how interpersonal trust works: • "Why Do I Trust People?" - A Psychological... . Here is the video about trust and narcissism by @Prof. Sam Vaknin that I reference in this video: • After the Narcissist: Learn to Trust Again... (Note: There is a full citation of Vaknin's video in the references below.) -- Chapters: 00:00 What is behind our biggest disagreements? Trust issues, at least in part 01:17 Deception is common, so we need to learn how to trust effectively 01:40 My previous video describes how trust works (CARD) 02:10 I recommend combining the tools mentioned here 03:00 I'm Andrew and this is Sense of Mind. Check out my other videos! 03:49 Tool 1: Can you ask questions? (dogma) 05:43 Unquestionable dogma is untrustworthy 07:30 Can you ask questions without ostracism? 08:12 Tool 2: Do words match actions? (gaslighting) 09:25 Signs you are being gaslighted 10:32 Asche Conformity Experiments 11:57 Political Gaslighting (CARD) 15:24 Tool 3: How do they respond to feedback? 16:50 Imagine if negative results didn't have an effect 18:08 We are (almost) never fully isolated in trust situations. 19:42 Tool 4: Kindness and Guilt-Proneness - predictors of trust 20:30 Unconditional Kindness 21:36 Guilt-proneness 23:00 Tool 5: Reciprocity ≠ Trustworthiness 24:30 Reciprocity is context-dependent 24:55 Tool 6: Do (Their) Cost-Benefit Analysis 28:22 Tool 7: Beware your cognitive biases 28:59 Sam Vaknin's list of trust-relevant cognitive biases 30:55 Tool 8: Test Trust (not deliberately!) 32:10 Betrayal is a part of life 33:17 Tool 9: Learn to forgive, despite the pain of betrayal 35:32 Thank you for watching! Please like and subscribe! -- Connect with Sense of Mind on social media! Instagram: / sense.ofmind Facebook: / senseofmindshow For exclusive and early access to content, sign up for the newsletter: https://senseofmindshow.com/newsletter/ NOTE: THE FIRST OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER EMAIL WILL BE SENT ON FRIDAY, November 5th, 2021. -- Sources and Recommended Readings: Thielmann, I., & Hilbig, B. E. (2015). Trust: An integrative review from a person–situation perspective. Review of General Psychology, 19(3), 249-277. Thielmann, I., & Hilbig, B. E. (2015). The traits one can trust: Dissecting reciprocity and kindness as determinants of trustworthy behavior. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 41(11), 1523-1536. Levine, E. E., Bitterly, T. B., Cohen, T. R., & Schweitzer, M. E. (2018). Who is trustworthy? Predicting trustworthy intentions and behavior. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(3), 468. Stern, R. (2018, December 19). I've counseled hundreds of victims of gaslighting. here's how to spot if you're being gaslighted. Vox. Retrieved October 28, 2021, from https://www.vox.com/first-person/2018.... Vaknin, S. (2020). After the Narcissist: Learn to Trust Again! (Bonus: Rant). Prof. Sam Vaknin - YouTube Channel. Retrieved from • After the Narcissist: Learn to Trust Again... . Information on Asch Conformity Experiments: https://www.verywellmind.com/the-asch... -- Music: Happy Electronic Beat | FLOWERS by Alex-Productions | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx0_... Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License https://creativecommons.org/licenses/...