My Spouse Doesn't Understand Me: What Do I Do? скачать в хорошем качестве

My Spouse Doesn't Understand Me: What Do I Do?

In this video, we will discuss the reasons couples getting on different pages and how to close the gap between one another. It is quite common in marriages to feel emotionally distanced from your spouse, at times. ***If you want to know if your relationship is healthy or needs work, click on my quiz link below now: https://kristincoaching.com/will-my-r... And if you haven't visited my website yet, click on the link below to check it out: https://kristincoaching.com/ Even the strongest marriages experience times where a lack of understanding happens. If you are watching this video, most likely you have thought to yourself, "My spouse doesn't understand me", "He doesn't get it", "I feel like we are on different pages". When we fall in love, it is quite easy to feel emotionally connected to our significant others and get on the same page during the time you are getting to know one another. It is much easier to understand what is important to him or her because that is our main focus of building the relationship. As time goes on, we have so many other related factors to consider that sometimes the mutual understanding does not happen. When you feel as though your spouse or partner does not understand you, that is an indication that communication problems are occurring, which happens in every relationship. What is most important is that you work through these communication barriers, which is sometimes the hardest thing a couple goes through; working through relationship struggles. If you are feeling like your partner is not "getting" you, it is time to open about your feelings to your other half and figure out how to resolve this. The main focus of attention when you decide to have a dialogue is to talk about talk about "below the surface" issues. This means that you label feelings of hurt, sadness, frustration, fear, etc. If you find yourself talking about frustrations related to your husband working too much or hanging out with his friends, you are not hitting the "under the surface" emotions. It is imperative to be able to communicate how your partner's actions are IMPACTING you and your relationship. It is important to wait until you are in a good space to bring up this topic; do not talk about this when you are angry. Make sure that when you do decide to have a dialogue about this, that it is a good time to bring it up where you have your spouses undivided attention and that he/she is not distracted doing other work. When I bring up hard conversations with my spouse, I usually start off the conversation on a positive note. I bring up things that I appreciate about my other half to soften the hard conversation ahead and to ensure that defense mechanisms are down. After all, we can all think of positive aspects of our spouse and our relationship. Just because you are having struggles does not mean that all of it is bad. If you are unable to think of one positive aspect of your relationship, then that most likely is a sign that it is headed towards relationship termination. But if you are able to think of positive aspects, open up this conversation with those. You will notice that your spouse feels appreciated and is able to hear the difficult part that comes after. When you communicate feelings about how the disconnect is impacting you and the relationship, make sure to not blame your spouse. Avoid sentences that say "you did [this], why did you do it?" It is more helpful to say "I noticed [this happened] which really hurt my feelings and it's been upsetting me. I want to figure out a way to solve this so it doesn't keep happening." That form of communication is more solution focused and catered to problem-solving, rather than blaming. So give that a try and see if you find it helpful. Also, stay calm during the conversation. If you don't mind yourself raising your voice, stop yourself and take some space. There is no solution that will come if you one or both of you are angry and yelling. It is imperative you talk calmly and openly with one another. Make sure you utilize your undivided attention skills and healthy communication skills. If you need more support with those specific techniques, please watch my other videos related to how to show undivided attention and utilizing healthy communication skills. The most important aspect to take away from this video is to remember that relationships take work. We, as couples, have to put effort into maintaining our healthy relationship with our spouse and continue to work on things until we get it right. So make sure that both you and your spouse are putting in that necessary effort, and doing what you need to do in order to build and maintain that solid foundation so you can be as happy in your marriage as possible.