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It is vital that your safe person never judge you for what you say, think, or feel. Is your wife able to do that? And does she even want to do that on a regular basis? That might be asking too much of her. She might not be able to practice non-judgment all of the time. You might make her feel uncomfortable, or she may feel overburdened by it. That’s why the recommendation is to make safe male friends. Your safe male friend is committed to non-judgment and sharing space with you. The purpose of safe friends is to share your shame and anxiety with them. When you realize that safe people never judge you, you’ll eventually believe that there’s nothing wrong with you. Shame and anxiety will start to fade and you feel better. If you’re looking for a safe male friend, I run a free Discord server full of men going through similar experiences. Come check it out at http://www.NiceGuyDiscord.com. Want help with this (or something else) now? Head over to https://www.niceguycoach.com/call Head on over to http://NiceGuyDiscord.com and connect with other guys there, too.