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Google Diagnosed Me Again

A comedic metal track by in vAIn. [Intro] Search complete. Diagnosis loading… You have… three hours to live. [Verse 1] One little cough in the middle of the night, Typed it in Google — now I’m losing the fight. Blue links screaming in black and white, Every answer says “prepare for the light.” |---------------------------------------------------------------------------| Minor symptoms, major decay, Every click takes a year off my lifespan away. From “drink some water” to “call your priest,” All from a cough — what a beautiful disease. [Pre-Chorus] Scrolling… Loading… Confidence dropping— [Chorus] GOOGLE DIAGNOSED ME AGAIN! One cough — now it’s the end! GOOGLE DIAGNOSED ME AGAIN! Three hours left according to them! GOOGLE DIAGNOSED ME AGAIN! I searched for help — I found despair! I just wanted medicine— NOW I’M APPARENTLY NOT REPAIRABLE! [Verse 2] Forums say “same thing happened to me,” Last post from 2009 — that’s reassuring. Medical terms I can’t pronounce, But they all end with “fatal” amounts. Heart rate synced with the loading bar, Every symptom’s worse than the ones before. I close the tab — but the damage is done, I was healthy before — what have I become? [Breakdown] COUGH! — search CLICK! — panic LOAD! — regret ERROR 404 — HOPE NOT FOUND. [Bridge] Why does every answer end in death? Why does Google know my final breath? I didn’t ask for a countdown clock, I just wanted sleep — now I’m in shock! [Chorus] GOOGLE DIAGNOSED ME AGAIN! Minor symptom — major mistake! GOOGLE DIAGNOSED ME AGAIN! I should’ve stopped at “rest and wait”! GOOGLE DIAGNOSED ME AGAIN! Perfectly fine but mentally dead! Next time I’m sick I swear I’ll just— ASK A DOCTOR INSTEAD! [Outro – robotic voice fading] Symptoms resolved. Anxiety remains.