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“I’ll be there in five minutes.” The biggest lie ever told. A comedic metal track about delays, excuses, and scrolling on your phone instead of leaving. By in vAIn. -------------------- LYRICS: [Intro – Chorus] I’ll be there in FIVE MINUTES — that’s what he always claims! But five becomes an hour while he’s lost in stupid games! He swears he's on his way now, but he's lying through his teeth— Five minutes means NEVER when he’s breathing air to breathe! [Verse 1] He texts “I’m almost leaving,” but he hasn’t left his bed, His alarm is still screaming somewhere deep inside his head. He says “traffic’s insane,” but he lives across the street— We summon demons faster than this dude gets to his feet! [Chorus] I’ll be there in FIVE MINUTES — the biggest joke alive! He’s scrolling on his phone while we’re counting down from five. He says he’s putting on his shoes but hasn’t touched a lace— He’s late for his own LIFE and still shows up with no shame! [Bridge – Guitar Solo] [INSTRUMENTAL GUITAR SOLO — aggressive nu-metal lead, chaotic bends, heavy chugs under it] [Verse 2] He walks in like a hero, acting like he’s right on time, We’ve aged another decade while he crossed the borderline. He blames his clock, his dog, the stars, the universe, the rain— But tomorrow he'll be “five minutes” late AGAIN! [Chorus] I’ll be there in FIVE MINUTES — yeah we know that’s a lie! We’ve planned our whole existence while he barely even tries. The world could END tomorrow, meteors falling from the sky— He’d text “five minutes” while sipping coffee on the side! [Breakdown] FIVE. MINUTES. Bro — WE KNOW YOU’RE NOT COMING. (Just stay home next time.) [Chorus] I’ll be there in FIVE MINUTES — he’ll sing it till he dies! If he’s early once, the universe will SHATTER, REALIGN. But until that prophecy comes true, we roll our eyes again— Five minutes means FOREVER… And FOREVER never ends. [Ending] Yeah… he’ll be there… He’ll be there… He’ll be there in five minutes…