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Don't Tell Me to Calm Down!

Being told to “calm down” rarely has the intended effect. In this episode of Really… with Sierra & Michael-Thomas, we take a deeper (and more serious) look at why that phrase can feel dismissive, invalidating, and even shaming. What sounds like advice often lands as tone policing — and instead of helping, it can make someone feel small, unseen, or unheard. We share personal experiences with being told to calm down, unpack emotional triggers, and talk about how hormones, past experiences, and relationship dynamics all play a role in emotional regulation. We also explore: • Why “calm down” often escalates rather than diffuses • The difference between support and dismissal • How tone policing impacts communication • Why emotional responses deserve curiosity, not correction • What to say instead (hint: empathy goes a long way) We even debate who actually could say “calm down” without triggering a reaction (Gandalf? Dumbledore? Maybe.) This episode is about empathy, awareness, and creating relationships where emotions are acknowledged — not minimized. If you’ve ever felt dismissed in a heated moment… this one’s for you. 🎧 New episodes weekly. 💬 Drop a comment: What’s something better to say than “calm down”? #emotionalintelligence #communicationskills #healthyrelationships #podcast Produced by GrifChap Studio, LLC Executive Producers: Sierra Chapman & M. Thomas Griffith Production Assistance: DCB Productions Editing: Sierra Chapman Artwork: M. Thomas Griffith Music: AlexGuz via Pixabay.com Email: info.reallypod@gmail.com Instagram: @really_thepod Facebook at Really... with Sierra & Michael-Thomas Linktree: https://linktr.ee/reallythepod TikTok @really_thepodcast Really The Pod Shop go to reallypodshop.myshopify.com © 2026 GrifChap Studio, LLC. All rights reserved. really… with Sierra & Michael-Thomas is produced by GrifChap Studio, LLC. The views and opinions expressed by hosts Sierra, Michael-Thomas, and their guests are their own and do not reflect those of their employers, Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College and Northeast State Community College, respectively.