Choosing Yourself After 40: Why It Feels Wrong (And Why That’s Normal) скачать в хорошем качестве

Choosing Yourself After 40: Why It Feels Wrong (And Why That’s Normal)

Here’s what nobody tells women over 40: When you finally start choosing yourself after decades of choosing everyone else, it doesn’t feel like freedom. It feels wrong. It feels indulgent. It feels selfish. It feels like you’re breaking a rule you didn’t even know you agreed to. In this episode of The Joy Shift, Kiley Suarez explores what she calls the messy middle — that disorienting stretch between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming. If you’ve started making changes in midlife and are experiencing guilt, resistance, or the “who do you think you are?” voice, this conversation will help you understand why discomfort doesn’t mean you’re off track. It means you’re growing. In This Episode, We Explore: 1. Why choosing yourself in midlife triggers guilt 2. The psychology behind feeling selfish after 40 3. Why personal growth feels destabilizing at first 4. The brain’s confusion between unfamiliar and unsafe 5. Why grief and growth often happen at the same time 6. How to navigate the messy middle without quitting The Messy Middle Explained The messy middle is the space between: 1. The woman who kept everyone else afloat 2. And the woman who is learning to choose herself It’s where: 1. Your identity feels unstable 2. Your relationships may feel tense 3. You question your decisions 4. You wonder if discomfort means you're doing it wrong It doesn’t. For many women navigating midlife reinvention, choosing yourself feels like betrayal because your worth was built on usefulness. Change disrupts that identity. And your nervous system reacts. Why Choosing Yourself Feels Wrong When you begin: 1. Setting boundaries 2. Prioritizing your dreams 3. Exploring new creative paths 4. Saying no without over-explaining 5. Taking time for yourself Your brain interprets unfamiliar behavior as danger. But unfamiliar is not unsafe. It’s new. And growth always feels destabilizing before it feels empowering. Five Things That Help in the Messy Middle 1️⃣ Name the guilt out loud “This feels wrong because it’s unfamiliar — not because it is wrong.” 2️⃣ Make micro-choices that reinforce your new identity Small, consistent signals matter. 3️⃣ Expect resistance — don’t interpret it Discomfort is part of change. 4️⃣ Borrow belief until yours grows Surround yourself with people who normalize your evolution. 5️⃣ Celebrate micro-wins You are rewiring decades of conditioning. Episode Timestamps 0:00 — Why choosing yourself feels like breaking a rule 1:45 — The year I hid my writing from everyone 6:00 — Why the messy middle is supposed to feel uncomfortable 10:30 — Five things that actually help 16:00 — What’s waiting on the other side 18:00 — Your practice for the week This Episode Is For You If: 1. You’ve started choosing yourself and feel guilty 2. You hear “Who do you think you are?” in your head 3. The people around you seem uncomfortable with your growth 4. You’re navigating a midlife identity shift 5. You want to change but fear losing relationships or stability Ready for Support? If you’re a woman over 40 navigating midlife reinvention, identity shifts, or learning to choose yourself without guilt, you can explore working together at: https://joyshift.lovable.app/