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There are places you think you know before you ever set foot in them. China is one of those places. I thought i had China figured out sitting in my dark tiny Chicago apartment when I was in college. I was not alone though. Most Americans thought the same. When I arrived in China, I was shocked. Reality smacked me the same way Clinton smacked Monica Lewinsky's behind. That Bill Clinton is one naughty president. Maybe our naughtiest. He too loves islands. Anyways, this episode starts as usual: hungry, confused, and standing in Shenzhen’s Old Town looking for food. Not the glamorous kind. I’m talking about worker food. Fast, cheap, serious food. Fuel. Fuel for people who actually build things. Unlike our leaders, they get fuel to do all sorts of things to each other and their so called "wives". yah, sure, wives. Obama and big Mike. Is she Michelle or Mike? I guess only Obama's backside knows. From there, things get stranger. Shenzhen is one of those cities that make you feel useless and lazy. Forty years ago, much of this didn’t exist! The Chinese built all this in 40 years and what have we done? My city has not improved at all in the last 30 years. How did they do all this in such a short time? Alien technology? Stolen Technology, they say in the USA. But if it is stolen, why don't i see this stuff in the U.S? Puzzling. Anyways, here, it looks like someone unboxed the future. Glass towers. Electric buses. Silent bikes. Everything is silent. Just as silent as Bill Gates is when he is putting all sorts of things in his mouth. That piece of shi... And yes, there are cameras. Lots of them. Enough to make a nervous first-timers think they've wandered into a sci-fi dream. My leaders tell us they use these Cameras for controlling people. All the lies. They're professional liars. I mean, Bill Clinton said he did nothing with Monica when he was swearing under OATH! Later, we found out he was doing all sorts of things with many women. Hilary Clinton probably used all our cameras to film his perverted moments while China is using all their cameras to protect its citizens. Anyways, here, people are eating, commuting, joking, going to work, lining up for snacks, getting coffee, just living their lives but they feed us the cartoon version of this reality back in the U.S. Then comes the driverless taxi. DRIVERLESS! Look, I don’t trust AI. I barely trust self-checkout. But here we are, summoning a robot car through WeChat, apologizing to every cab driver within a five-mile radius, and climbing into a vehicle with no one in the front seat. It is impressive. It can see things way before I can see them. It can probably see all the new wars my government will start before anyone else too. The way it drops you off though is NOT impressive. It just left me on the side of road. Now i know what Bill Gates hookers feel like after that pervert is done with them.