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Strengthening Relationships and Family Life

Bridgette Jackson and Wynand Jacobs of Family Life NZ discuss how great relationships don’t happen by luck. Specific skills and actions are needed to strengthen your relationships. "Connection: a journey towards intimacy" is Wynand's book just published. Family life NZ exists to strengthen family life and to help kiwis stay happily married. https://www.familylife.org.nz/ Link to Equal Exes free Should I Stay or Should I Go workbook to help you decide what to do. https://mailchi.mp/equalexesonline/st... 1 - make your relationship a top priority “Many people say they are listening when they are actually rearranging their prejudices”. Listening skills - make it clear you are hearing what your partner says. 2 - trust is fundamental to a relationship The Trust cycle starts with expressing a need for the person in the relationship to meet the need and thus trust is built. Take time to express gratitude and appreciation for your partner. Create “relationship insurance”. 3 - if you’ve got to the end of the road in your relationship - it’s not a one-time thing. It builds up over time. It happens because someone doesn’t feel appreciated or their needs have been met or they don’t get listened to. Ask What can I do to encourage you? What can I do to support you today? Have “date” nights. Daydream together. 4 - to save a relationship you have got to want to change Let go of the idea that it’s all your partner’s fault and they have to change. Both of you have to make changes. Have a joint email address and send a message when something positive happens. Add photos. Consider how much $$ you spend on a wedding and how much $$ you spend on investing in the relationship. 5 - what is the average cost of a divorce? Bridgette thinks its $20-30,000 on average. No two people always agree, even in a relationship. But if we were both the same, one of us would not be needed in the relationship. Have a common goal - this unites us as together we work towards it.