Neurodiverse (ADHD) Relationships: Nervous System Regulation & Conflict Management скачать в хорошем качестве

Neurodiverse (ADHD) Relationships: Nervous System Regulation & Conflict Management

S5-E23 Do you wonder if your neurodiverse relationship can work when one of you is always pursuing and the other is shutting down or pulling away? Do hard conversations seem to pop up late at night: one of you wants to talk it through and the other needs space? You’re not alone. In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, I sit down with Jana (an ADHD resilience coach) and Matt (a neurotypical engineer) to unpack the “thinker + feeler” dynamic—and the practical tools that helped them stop spinning in the same conflict loop. You’ll hear how nervous system regulation, timing, and the meaning we attach to words can make or break a conversation… and why one surprisingly simple tool (a phone voice memo) helped them get unstuck. 💬 In this episode: • What “nervous system dysregulation” really means (and how it shows up in relationships) • The pursuer/retreater cycle: why one partner escalates while the other shuts down • “Compass vs. roadmap”: emotions as direction, logic as strategy • Why Jana’s brain demanded resolution at 8:30–10:00 PM (and what helped) • The communication skill that helped Jana feel heard—and shortened conflict conversations • A powerful practice: recording hard conversations to reduce misunderstandings and clarify meaning ⏰ Timestamps 0:00 — Season 5 Intro: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work? 1:23 — Meet Jana and what dysregulation is (fight/flight/fawn/freeze) 4:04 — Meet Matt + the thinker/feeler pattern 8:41 — Compass vs. roadmap (emotions + logic) 14:27 — ADHD urgency at night (why timing matters) 22:19 — Active listening + “best self” pause 28:24 — Recording hard talks (voice memo breakthrough) Part 2 of my conversation with Jana and Matt is the Season 5 finale! Watch here:    • Sleeping Apart, Growing Together: Jana & M...   👋🏼 Meet Jana and Matt Jana Smith is a resilience coach with ADHD, a Master’s degree in Health Education, and advanced training in nervous system regulation. After experiencing severe burnout and chronic symptoms in 2008, she rebuilt her health using neuroplasticity-based tools (including DNRS) and has spent the past decade coaching, teaching, creating original resources, and mentoring other coaches. She offers individual coaching and online classes, and is also a Mental Health Coach and Certified Brainspotting Practitioner. Matt is a neurotypical engineer who loves solving problems—and he brings that steady, practical mindset into their marriage. He’s also creatively wired (woodworking and designing furniture are favorite hobbies), and in this episode he shares the relationship tools that helped them break out of a pursue/retreat cycle—like active listening, pausing for his “best self,” and using recordings to reduce misunderstandings. Jana and Matt have been married for 24 years and are parents to two daughters (plus a beloved labradoodle). #NeurodiverseRelationships #ADHDRelationships #ADHDCouples #NervousSystemRegulation #EmotionalRegulation #ConflictResolution #CommunicationSkills #AttachmentStyles #ActiveListening #relationshipadvice 🔔 If this episode was helpful, please like, subscribe & share. Your support helps us reach more neurodiverse couples. 🔗 Resources Mentioned & Links • Jodi’s communications course: https://jodicarlton.com/courses/relat... • Explore all resources, quizzes, articles, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com • Guest link (Jana): https://www.janamsmith.com Have questions or takeaways from this episode? Drop them in the comments or email gethelp@jodicarlton.com. — 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd I’m a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. I’m also neurodivergent myself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—so I bring both clinical expertise and lived experience to my work. I spent 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raised neurodivergent children, which gave me a deeply personal understanding of what helps autistic–neurotypical relationships thrive—and what quietly erodes them. Today, I support individuals, couples, and families worldwide using a solution-focused approach that creates clarity, skills, and meaningful long-term change.