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Here's a question that sounds simple but isn't. Can you steal something that's freely given to you?Because that's the accusation against Queen Mary — wife of George V, grandmother of Elizabeth II, and one of the most formidable women to ever occupy a British throne. The story goes like this: Mary visited country houses across England, admired whatever caught her eye, and walked out with it. Silver, porcelain, Fabergé, jade. If it was beautiful and it was yours, it wasn't yours for long.The word people reach for is kleptomaniac. It's catchy. It's dramatic. And it's wrong — but not in the way you'd think.See, kleptomania is a clinical diagnosis. It describes a compulsive, uncontrollable urge to steal objects you don't need and often don't even want, followed by shame and distress. It's an impulse control disorder, classified alongside pyromania and compulsive gambling. The person can't help themselves. That's the whole point.What Mary did was the opposite of compulsive. It was precise. Methodical. And it exploited a loophole in the social architecture of monarchy so elegant that calling it theft almost feels like an insult to the craftsmanship.