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Who is The Borderline. This lack of self is what unconsciously motivates all maladaptive BPD defences. People with BPD don’t know who they are. They don’t have a container of self. Counselor, Life and Mental Health Coach, and Author A.J. Mahari asks the question of those Borderline Personality Disorder and BPD Family and BPD Loved ones alike, who is the borderline? This question is asked to explore the lack of self, identity, relational skills that people with BPD have (until/unless in treatment or recovery) and what does this mean for the process and definition of what full recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder actually is. How does all this tie into what I have coined (years ago) as the Core Wound of Abandonment?