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Track 12 from Idiotwin It seems poetic that Idiotwin's self-titled, debut LP - an album of bittersweet highs, bleak lows, and the anxieties of ageing - was composed over a time-period that cannot be stated with certainty. Did it start with the release of the Idiotwin EP? Did it start when 'What You Want (What Is Not Yet Lost)' was written in university accommodation a long way from home? Did it start with a grainy demo of 'When The Stars Die'? Did it start when both members were sixteen, 'Who Am I To' an idea on a school computer? As an act of defiance, it exists now, and will do tomorrow, and on and on, and after that too. Permanence against timely fear, against loneliness, against grief, against itself. Perhaps this is the "clearing in a forest". To everyone who contributed to this LP, your efforts will always be appreciated. To everyone who supported the Idiotwin LP during its completion, and who will continues to support us, words cannot express our gratitude. This is the first then. We'll see you at the second. "You've got time to get better" ~ ii Lyrics: I'll hide behind my eyes And blind myself All else fails and I find A clearing in the forest, a gap in the trees Are you ready for this life? Strange lie As if it was a question I'll belie a smile, and trust in its detection Are you ready for this life? I suppose I must Steady, nearing clearing I arrive I don't even know the place I don't even know the time I don't even know a face I'll pretend it's fine I don't even know the place Older, ever older My face is strange, I lose my place Like time, where do I go? I tend to my roses that grow to die Life is treason The changing of the seasons It's hard to shoulder youthful bloom When you reach an age Where the phrase 'You've got your whole life ahead of you' Has stopped being true Why does no one tell you what to do, or how to play Before you're there? I don't even know the game I don't even know the score I don't even know the rules I'm playing for a draw I don't even know the game I've never been so rushed before I've never needed mother so much before Someone somewhere needs to be told I'm too young, to be old Such a lovely house For a lovely family Old enough to fan fantasies incendiary Failed memories glow I must be ready for this life But I have never felt so low I'm scared of you I have always been scared of you (The trap is sprung) (The chicks flung from their nest) (At whose behest?) I don't even know the game I don't even know the score I don't even know the rules I'm playing for a draw I don't even know the game I don't even know the score I don't even know the rules I'm begging for a draw I don't even know the game (I don't even know the game) Credits: Songwriters: Frederick Bloy, Chris London Composer: Idiotwin Lyricist: Idiotwin Producer: Chris London Engineer: Chris London Assistant Engineer: Tom Branscombe Instrumentalists: Frederick Bloy, Chris London, Rebecca White, Dwayne Marcellin (violin), Ciara Cogley (flute), Tom Branscombe, Jared London (drums) Art: Paloma White Art Editor: Rosalie Bloy Check us out here! https://linktr.ee/idiotwin