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When your partner needs space and you need closeness, it can feel like emotional whiplash. One moment you’re reaching out and the next, they’re pulling away. Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Try the Paired App for free today https://paired.go.link/iBpZW Avoidant partners aren’t cold or unloving. They’re coping. When emotions run high, they withdraw to feel safe. But that leaves you feeling rejected, anxious, and alone. In this video, Aly, licensed marriage and family therapist and Head of Relationships at Paired, breaks down why avoidant behavior happens and exactly how to build a stronger, more secure bond without chasing or shutting down. If you’ve ever wondered how to stay connected to a partner who needs distance, these 5 therapist-backed strategies will help you rebuild trust, safety, and closeness, together. 💡 In this video, you’ll learn: 🟣 Why avoidant partners pull away (and what’s really going on underneath) 🟣 How to stop taking distance personally 🟣 The exact words to use when you’re feeling shut out 🟣 How to set healthy “reconnection plans” after conflict 🟣 Grounding tools to calm your anxiety while they cool off 🟣 The small daily rituals that rebuild intimacy over time 📚 Video Chapters 00:00 Understanding Your Avoidant Partner 00:11 The Dynamics of Avoidance 00:36 Navigating the Avoidant Dynamic 00:48 Meet Your Therapist, Aly 00:58 Defining Avoidance 01:18 The Nervous System Response 01:29 The Impact of Avoidance 02:05 Coping Strategies Overview 02:10 Technique 1: Don't Take It Personally 03:19 Technique 2: Communicate Without Blame 04:36 Technique 3: Agree on Reconnection Plans 06:07 Technique 4: Learn to Self-Soothe 06:37 Box Breathing Exercise 07:47 Technique 5: Small, Consistent Bids for Attention 08:56 Using Code Words 09:22 Recap of Techniques 10:06 Emotional Safety and Deeper Connection 10:22 Closing and Further Resources 🧠 Quick Takeaways (save this part): 1️⃣ Avoidance isn’t rejection — it’s a coping mechanism. 2️⃣ Ditch “you never” and “you always.” Start with “I feel” and “I need.” 3️⃣ Always agree on a reconnection plan after taking space. 4️⃣ Calm your nervous system before you reconnect. 5️⃣ Small daily moments of connection build lasting emotional safety. 💬 Your Next Step: If this video resonated, it’s time to take what you’ve learned and turn it into action. The Paired app helps couples build emotional safety and closeness with expert-backed check-ins, guided conversations, and daily connection tools that fit real life. Try it free today → https://paired.go.link/iBpZW ✨ Join the Conversation: What’s been your biggest challenge when your partner pulls away, the silence, the uncertainty, or the waiting? Drop it in the comments. Aly will be answering in upcoming Q&A sessions. 📅 Subscribe for weekly therapist-led advice to help you communicate better, fight fair, and love more intentionally. 📲 Try Paired now: https://paired.go.link/iBpZW 📸 Follow Aly: @relationshipswithaly 💞 Follow Paired: @pairedapp #AvoidantAttachment #Relationships #CouplesTherapy #PairedApp #AnxiousAvoidant #EmotionalConnection #MarriageAdvice #RelationshipTips #AttachmentStyles #AvoidantPartner