Intro to VOLO!: a Volo Song скачать в хорошем качестве

Intro to VOLO!: a Volo Song

TO THE PATREON:   / bardcollegeofcitrus   TO THE TWITTER:   / citrusthebard   The Bard College of Citrus is an organization devoted to cataloguing the stories of the world of D&D and those in the world making adventures into legends. We’re not alone in cataloguing the world, though, and in that tradition, we turn the lens to one Volothamp Geddarm, wizard and author of several best-selling books about the world of the Forgotten Realms. Some people question the validity and the morality of his crusade, making money off of the tales of others without knowing he’s had his share of tumult in the past. Has he earned his writing desk duties and that backseat on the front line? He sure thinks so! --LYRICS-- Volo: Oh seeing is believing, friends, with purpose I’m adorned! But those of you with weakened constitutions, be ye warned! For I’ve got many tales from all The corners of the land, appalling Monsters baring teeth against me, that I shall recall! It’s from these front lines that I bring accounts with which I’m sworn Oh, Lady Luck’s a traveling companion I’ve not scorned For each and every vicious horde, That fell against those swishing swords It’s all inside my newest book, you never will be bored! Well I’ve seen crying orphans wrenched from grasp of dragon’s teeth! Until each gnoll was vanquished, blade never met its sheath! I stamped through cursed swamps to see a fallen coven’s curse! And if this all intrigues you, wait until the second verse~! Yes, “Volo’s Guide to Heroship and Valor” is what you need For when you need a gripping yarn of heroism’s deed If you wish to hear more stories, friend, you never have to plead! For just 10 gold, you’ll get them all! A value, it’s agreed! *RAUCOUS LAUGHTER* Pretentious Human Townsfolk: Oh have you read the latest? The humor of the week? Cranky Dragonborn Townsfolk: Another written headache from that coward and that freak Town chorus: While others toil and perspire, He profits off those who inspire Dour Bugbear Townsfolk: The only thing that’s roused when he is mentioned is my ire Pretentious Human Townsfolk: Do you think that the dragon could have savored what he ate While he had to hear dear Volo screaming, fleeing from his plate? Dramatic Dwarvish Townsfolk: For each and every gnollish head That’s rolled, I’m grateful that they’re dead Town chorus: But I will thank the hero, shoot the messenger instead! Yes, “Volo’s Guide to Ripping Off Successes” is the key To stripping down the last bit of your credibility Pretentious Human Townsfolk: The written word has never seen such dismal artistry Town chorus: Since last time Volothamp Geddarm wrote such a travesty! We all have heard his bluster, his bravado, and his boasts His words, a spinning stake on which his reputation roasts And with each new publication,yes we make a mirthful toast To Volo, the great credit thief across all the Sword Coast! Obnoxious Kobold Townsfolk: Here he comes now! Volo: My, quite the mirthful music hits the timbre of my ears, Please tell me, friends, what joyful news elicits all these cheers? Cranky Dragonborn Townsfolk: Why, Volo, news about your book Made every patron double-look It’s not so serious, not like Town chorus: WE THINK THAT YOU’RE A CROOK! Volo: A crook?! Now, see here, you- Pretentious Human Townsfolk: You speak of vast experience, but none of it is yours! Volo: Interviews are important- Cranky Dragonborn Townsfolk: Just how many lost citations have you left out or ignored? Volo: There’s a note right here in the- Town chorus: You claim to be a paragon But one thing is agreed upon You tell the tales of others since your own make people yawn! Volo: I see the writing on the wall, you patrons cruel and fair “I’m lacking some authority” the charge to which you bear Well if my well-researched reports Bring naught from you but barbed retorts, I’ll show you how it’s done with a new book of last resort! You want heroic tales that all have been performed by me? I’d say with my experience, that’s in my pedigree! I’ll save a town, or maybe three! I’ll change the world to grand degree! And then my friends, who is the crook? I guess by then we’ll see! Oh no… perhaps Elminster was right about me after all… I may have overspoke back there with promises so grand… Perhaps I’ll find some adventurers who’ll care to lend a hand? ----- Dungeons & Dragons is © Wizards of the Coast LLC Intro to VOLO! was originally composed, written, and performed by the Bard College of Citrus and released on April 29, 2021 (posted on YouTube on April 30, 2021)