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Have you ever made a healthy choice — set a boundary, taken time for yourself, said no — and then felt worse afterward? If this week felt emotionally messy, tender, irritable, guilty, or confusing after choosing yourself, nothing has gone wrong. In this Friday Reflection episode of The Joy Shift, Kiley Suarez gently explores why growth can feel destabilizing before it feels freeing — especially for women over 40 who have built their identity around responsibility, reliability, and holding everything together. Sometimes choosing yourself doesn’t feel like empowerment. It feels like: 1. Guilt 2. Restlessness 3. Emotional backlash 4. Irritability 5. Fear This episode is a reminder that discomfort after growth is not failure. It’s adjustment. No urgency. No fixing. Just noticing. In This Episode, We Explore: 1. Why choosing yourself can trigger emotional backlash 2. The nervous system’s response to identity shifts 3. Why growth often feels worse before it feels better 4. The difference between backsliding and recalibration 5. How to move gently through emotional adjustment Why Growth Can Feel Worse at First When you’ve spent decades being: 1. The responsible one 2. The reliable one 3. The strong one 4. The one who holds everything together Even a quiet act of choosing yourself can register as threat. Your body doesn’t yet recognize this new pattern as safe. It only knows something changed. So the aftermath shows up as: 1. Guilt 2. Emotional sensitivity 3. Mood swings 4. A subtle sense that something is “off” Not because you made the wrong choice. But because your system is recalibrating. This Isn’t Backsliding It’s easy to assume: “If I feel worse, I must have done something wrong.” But adjustment is not failure. It’s integration. Midlife reinvention isn’t just about making new choices. It’s about helping your nervous system catch up to those choices. A Gentle Reminder If the emotions feel messy this weekend: 1. Don’t analyze them. 2. Don’t fix them. 3. Don’t make them mean something about your worth. Let them move like weather. Like waves. They rise. They fall. They pass. You are not undoing anything. You are adjusting. This Episode Is For You If: 1. You feel guilty after choosing yourself 2. Growth feels harder than you expected 3. You’re navigating midlife reinvention 4. You’re learning to set boundaries 5. You’re in the messy middle of identity shift Disclaimer 1. The Joy Shift Podcast with Kiley Suarez shares personal views and guest experiences. It is intended for inspiration and conversation, not medical, psychological, or financial advice. Before making major life changes, consult with a qualified professional. Take what resonates and leave the rest.