A True Covert Narcissist Can't and Won't Ever Reform скачать в хорошем качестве

A True Covert Narcissist Can't and Won't Ever Reform

A True Covert Narcissist Can't and Won't Ever Reform: The true covert narcissist is a lost cause. The notion that these people can actually ever understand the concept and value of empathy or ever have a conscience is simply wishful thinking. Every person they target that does believe in the honor and the value of these people, that believes that veneer on the covert narc's surface, ends up getting burned in the end. A person committed to a relationship with a covert narcissist in which the narc has no interest in leaving ends up being placed on a roller coaster ride of ups and downs laden with lies and broken promises and has to put up with their partner's bizarre self serving interpretation of reality. Every earnest effort by the target to stabilize things eventually ends up getting nowhere. Yes the hamster wheel that the target never wanted to be on and never can get off of, the constant moving of the goalposts, the endless complaining and discontentment of someone who can and never will be, and now we understand never wanted to be satisfied. All of this ends up wearing any sane person down. But the gaslighting then takes things to a new level and if the narc has their own way, the target will slowly lose themselves and their perception of reality. The line is often drawn when the narc's gaslighting is so obvious that the well meaning target actually wants to try to make the covert narc see where and how they are in error. Sadly the narc continues on trying to deceive and the target being unaware of the true nature of the beast in their presence continues to try to make the narc aware of their error. This effort is made again and again since the target feels obligated to be supportive. So it should be made clear that it's a false assumption that every target that stays with a covert narcissist is unaware of the lies and manipulation. No these targets simply can't conceive of the concept that a person such as a covert narcissist actually exists, let alone that their partner is one of these devils. Yes that target, as a result of the natural function of their love and commitment, holds on and tries to “make it work” in an environment that invariably becomes increasingly harsher as the years role by. Numerous examples can be given of the living hell the covert narc puts their targets through, but one example might suffice. Think of the philanderer who has a secret life right under their partner's nose for years on end. Is that how the disloyalty started? Is that the first incident of unfaithfulness? No the narc in their early days of inexperience was easily caught and if they lived in a tightly knit community their infidelity and numerous trysts became common knowledge to seemingly everyone but the target, who was busy supporting the narc financially. Conversely the “hard working” bread winner would use their “late night projects that needed immediate completion” as ready excuses for gaining a few hours of private time. Yes in the beginning the narc was as of yet inexperienced in the execution of their disloyalty and treachery. So they got caught and then promised never to do it again. In reality, they refined their craft and “did it again”. Then they got caught again, and the cycle repeated. Eventually some partners gave up and a mutual agreement was made to part ways. Yes love has it's limits and when the hope for change has met the harshness of reality too many times a target wakes up and gives up on the narc. Yes you can struggle with that covert narc, reason with them, love them and return kindness for the evil they perpetrate and it makes no difference. Pronouncements by the narc of being “reformed” and “changed” and even an admission of “being wrong” are empty words simply designed to continue the abuse in a more stealthy manner until that is also detected by the narc's partner. Every minute of interaction with a covert narcissist is abuse in one form or another. The narc lies continually, misrepresents all of the time and is always seeking to manipulate. They can't help themselves. The thing that strings along the target and makes them put up with all of this craziness is the belief that the narc is simply a flawed person that is basically “good on the inside”. No. The narc, for lack of a more concise word, is evil on the inside. You could make the argument that despite all of the narc's flaws they could be “tamed” and made manageable by a person who understands covert narcissism. Yes that is possible, but to make that work you are no longer in a genuine relationship with the narc, you are simply manipulating them and gaslighting them into staying in a synthetic relationship. That type of dynamic means the target...